The Magician
In the throws of change, still in flux, I am faced with the things I need to change in my life right now. Right now, my focus is removing obstacles between me and my goals. But what was strange, when I looked to see what my obstacle was, it was my reflection I saw, so I have set out to change this.So I search. And Ive found that so far, my life's experience is telling me that Im holding myself back, Im hiding. Because of my diferences, Ive always felt that in order to be tolerated by others, I needed to quell my intelect, my emotions, my gifts, even my own beauty! A day that was emotionaly trying for me uncovered this for me, as I walked in the front door one day, and so after had a conversation with my then roommate who had a problem dealing with my giddy beahvaior... ( this comming form a woman who takes everything out on every one eles) and told me I needed to learn how to deal with my problems. I told her I was dealing with it and pointed out that I wasnt crying on her shoulder.. and told her "Ok. the next time I see you in tears Ill tell you I dont want to deal with it. " At least my outburst was positive !... And I cant take it any more. It seems my life's dream is requiring a bigger commitment that I once thought, and I am adapting to that. Ive also had the chance to learn more about myself, a seemingly nessesary step in order to move on ...Which in turns brings me to The Magician, a card representing a person utlizing their gifts, proficiantly, communing with nature, a place I know I need to be in life, a reminder of the task at hand.
